"Beauty Is More Than Skin Deep"
The example of a godly mother
Sermon Preached by
The Rev. Dr. Andrew Stirling
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Text: Proverbs 31:10-31
I am sure many of you read in the papers last week the story of Jeremy Gabriel. Jeremy is the nine-year-old boy from Quebec who sang this week for the Pope in Rome. This boy has what is known as Treacher Collins-Franceschetti Syndrome and has a receding chin-line and a face that is not structured or developed in the normal way. Nevertheless, this boy, sang a most moving piece of music entitled “I Will Praise the Eternal.” The Canadian cardinal who was there said afterwards that this boy not only sang with his lips, but with his heart. He moved everyone who was at the Vatican that day. So powerful and so moving is his singing that Céline Dion has had him sing in Las Vegas. That is the power of a voice that comes not only through the throat or the lungs, but comes from the very heart itself.
If there is one thing about our modern society that is worthy of criticism, it is that we tend to look too much to outward appearances to determine a person's worth. The superficiality of the modern world is exacerbated by the video era. Since the rise of the video era, some really marvellous musicians and singers are not recognized, because they do not have the physical presence to make a video - something that can be sold. To have both the ability to sing and good looks to go with it are the ingredients necessary to make a really good video. That is why there are musicians today, particularly in the popular idiom, who never get promoted, because we look at their external appearances, rather than listen to their voices and to what comes from within.
Now, I am pleased to say there are exceptions. Jeff Healey, who is blind, is by far and away my favourite rock guitarist, and I love listening to him and even watching him play. One of my favourite singers, is Andrea Bocelli, who is blind. And who cannot love the music of Stevie Wonder, who is blind as well? With their blindness apparent, none of these men is conventionally handsome. They are exceptions to the rule that you not only have to sound good, you also have to look good to sell your product. This is one of the problems of a superficial world.
I don't want to get overly dualistic today. I don't want to suggest that there is no virtue in looking good or in beauty, or that there is nothing worthwhile about dressing up and looking smart, or being presentable. In many ways, it is a sign of respect for the people around us. Nevertheless, real beauty, lasting beauty, comes from deep within the soul, not just from a superficial level. Nowhere in Scripture is that more clearly demonstrated than in this morning's passage from the Book of Proverbs. It says, “Charm can be deceitful and beauty passes, but the woman who honours the Lord will be praised.” Here, the writer of Proverbs is lifting up character, lifting up the virtue of a life that honours and recognizes before anything else, God. What makes real beauty and lasting, meaningful personality is faith.
The writer of the Book of Proverbs is an amazing, amazing writer! There probably wasn't just one writer; there were possibly two or even more - it was written over a period of time. The passage that we just heard comes at the end, almost as an epilogue to the Book of Proverbs. Now, you could say that Proverbs is a very masculine book, and that it gives much advice to young men on how they should live. That was the purpose for which it was originally written: to give advice to young men on getting along in the court; on doing well in the presence of the monarchy; and on succeeding in life. It is a manual of wise sayings, really, but more than that - of worldly virtues.
At the very beginning of the book the foundation is established with the words, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” In other words, at the very heart of wisdom is faith in God, and from that faith emerges everything else. Agreed, there are times in the Book of Proverbs, where women are not always portrayed at their most winsome or their most beautiful or their most glorious. There is advice to young men to be careful of harlots and to be careful of being trapped in dangerous relationships. These are wise words within the court, but at the end of the book there is a most glorious statement. It is a poem written in cryptic form in order that it could be memorized.
It contains words and phrases in Aramaic which shows that it is a later document. When combined with the Hebrew, they rhyme, and the end result is this rhythmical, memorable, glorious ode. It is a testimony to one woman, probably the wife of the King, but more than that, it is a statement about what makes a woman, or indeed, a person, worthy of praise. It goes to the heart of character. It goes to what comes from within. The power that comes from within is faith. It is faith that manifests itself in some very concrete, down-to-earth, realistic things. On this Mother's Day, I would like to elevate some of those virtues, not just to glorify mothers, but to recognize the word and the will of God.
Let's look at the woman in this story. We read that she is primarily a provider. Her beauty is worth even more than rubies; it is the result of her faithfulness, and her worth is manifested in the way in which she cares for her family. This text pre-dates the 20th century feminist movement, but it nevertheless elevates the role of women by emphasizing how important they are in providing for their families. Whether they are providing for their families internally, within the confines of their homes, or externally by being professionals, by being entrepreneurs, the writer is recognizing the contributions that women make.
Listen to some of the language: “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships bringing food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark. She provides food for her family. She considers the field and buys it. Out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.” The picture that we get here is of a woman who is very much an entrepreneur, who buys fields, who purchases vineyards, who manifests her provision for her family. Some of it is done by the work of her hands and some of it is done in an entrepreneurial and professional manner.
Have you noticed, when you read this passage, that nothing is said of her husband, except that he sits somewhere in the city and looks good? I mean, it is the woman who does it all, and the man who just sits back and says, “Thank you very much. I am going to look good. Look at my spouse. Isn't she marvellous? She provides me with everything.”
There is, however, a deeper truth here. It is this: In providing for her family, this woman is really the source, the structure, the foundation of the community. If you look at our world today, my friends, that is still a reality in so many places. I used to watch the migrant labourers in South Africa go off to the mines in the northerly provinces or in other countries, and it was the women who had to stay at home and provide for the family. They had to work day and night, from the rising of the sun to the moon shining. Many times, I would see women carrying water on their heads, with babies on their backs and blisters on their feet, making sure their children and their families were provided for, because the men were nowhere to be seen. It was their commitment, their provision, their dedication that kept the whole of the system and structure of society afloat. Without their deep dedication, there would have been nothing.
I read of and hear about families such as one in Botswana that has been devastated by AIDS. Nearly all the young men have died, and it is the women who keep the family afloat, who are the providers, who are the sustainers, who keep the system going. Without their courage, without their dedication, and without their sincerity and their labours, the family would disintegrate.
When I look here in Toronto, never mind other countries in the world, I realize that the homelessness problem has a greater impact on women than it does on men. Children being brought up in single-parent families, through no decision or will of their own, are having to be sustained by their mothers - and if we don't support our mothers, if we don't support the women who are the providers for the family, and we wonder why we are shocked to find that there is crime and there are problems. These poor women have to live in some terrible situations. They have to struggle against incredible odds, to balance the good of their families and, at the same time, be the providers. This is a tremendous challenge and, if we love our children and if we love our mothers, we should do everything in our power to support and encourage them.
They face an incredible challenge. It is a challenge too, sometimes, just to be at home, just to care for a child, just to be a provider of so much more than just dollars and cents: of love, grace, and charm. So often, that is denigrated. I love what Tony Campolo, the evangelist, once said about his wife, Peggy, who was always asked what she did with her life, because she stayed at home and cared for their children. She had a standard response: “I am socializing two homo sapiens into the dominant values of the Judeo Christian tradition, in order that they might be instruments for the transformation of the social order into an eschatological Utopia that God willed from the beginning of Creation.” Now there you go, mothers-at-home! That is your job description! Whatever form it might take, the provision, the care of, the love of society rests in your hands.
To have the strength for that (because it must take incredible energy - mental, physical and spiritual), you really do need to honour God first, not only in your role as provider, but in many ways as prophet. There is a sense in which the mother, the leader of the family, is a prophet. I remember that during my upbringing, if I gained a love for the church, a love for social justice, a love for preaching, it came from my father. However, if it came down to compassion for the individual, demonstrating love and respect for anybody, that came from my mother. I understand the phrase: “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” In many ways, the example mothers set is so profound and so lasting.
No, I don't want to stand here and idolize mothers. This is not some sort of Godessfest! We're not into that! Mothers tell their children some terrible things and set some terrible examples in this life. I read about a mother, for example, who taught children contortions by saying, “Have you seen the dirt on the back of your neck?” And the mother who taught about hypocrisy, saying, “If I told you once, I have told you a million times, don't exaggerate!”
“My mother taught me about the circle of life,” said one poet.
“She said, ”˜I brought you into this world and I can take you out.'”
“And my mother” said one writer, “taught me about envy: ”˜There are millions of less fortunate children who don't have parents like yours.'”
Sometimes, mothers don't quite live up to the model in Proverbs. Having said that, so often they do and, regardless, what they teach matters. Listen to what the writer of Proverbs said: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hand to the needy. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Wise counsel, care for the poor and the needy: These are examples that are set. They are not superficial things, they are not born from banal beauty; they come from faith, and character that is shaped by that faith: the mother as the prophet.
The mother is also worthy of praise. I love the final stanzas in this. They speak to the very heart of what is wrong in our society with a truth that only the word of God proclaims. Only the word of God proclaims that “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” This is then what a mother should receive. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
My friends, this is not some sort of flaccid form of Pelagianism, this isn't some sort of works righteousness to make us look good before God and our neighbour. This is the manifestation of what faith and honour in God actually does and produces. This is a manifestation of the power of God's word, and God's word leads the mother in such a way that her children praise her. My friends, this goes for anybody. Not only mothers, not only Mother's Day. This goes right to the heart of our character and our faith in what we believe. It seems to me that every one of us should to some extent be provider, prophet, and give praise.
I find it very difficult to read this poem, and I suppose it is because my mother is no longer with me. I read Rudyard Kipling's words, and I think that they are not only a testimony to mothers, they are a testimony to what we all should do and be:
If I were hanged on the highest hill,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose love would follow me still,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!If I were drowned in the deepest sea,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
I know whose tears would come down to me,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!If I were damned by body and soul,
I know whose prayers would make me whole,
Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
Beauty is far more than skin deep. It goes even deeper than that. It goes to the heart of things. Amen.
This is a verbatim transcription of the original sermon.