"Mother Knows Best"
Sermon Preached by
The Rev. Dr. Andrew Stirling
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Text: John 2:1-11
At the beginning of my sermon last Sunday, I mentioned that there was a squirrel being chased by a bird along the fence of my back garden. I speculated as to why the bird was chasing the squirrel, and I”˜ve never received so many e-mails about an issue in a sermon. All of them made the same point, that the squirrel was being chased by the bird because (had I been a rural person I would have known this) squirrels like to eat birds' eggs. Mother birds chase squirrels away from their nests to protect their little ones.
What an amazing segue to a Mothers' Day service! As we celebrate the power of mothers on Christian Family Sunday, we begin with a story of a mother bird's instinctual protectiveness of her young. Even if it had no chance whatsoever of being able to defeat the squirrel, the mother bird still protected her young. As a basic principle within nature, particularly human nature, the powerful, instinctive love of a mother is a great and considerable force.
Recently I was thinking about my trip to Chile two years ago, where I met a monsignor who worked with families whose children had disappeared due to political reasons. He said one of the most moving things was to watch the vigils mothers kept for their children, even though they probably wouldn't return. They did it to preserve and protect their children's memory, always in the hope that they would return. Even if their children did not come home, the mothers refused to forget them.
I think back to moments in the Transky region of southern Africa when I watched mothers walk for miles carrying water jars on their heads with their children strapped to their chests or backs. They never left their children, and made sure they were protected, even if it meant carrying them over terrible terrain in the hot sun.
I think of those throughout history who have sat at home while their children were at war, not knowing if they would come back. I think about the commemoration of the Battle of the Atlantic, of those from our own church who lost their lives in conflicts over the years, and of their mothers. The power of a mother's instinct is to pray for a child! There are numerous examples that I and other ministers in the church can cite of children in Sick Kids' Hospital with their mothers sitting vigil throughout the night, hoping and praying that the new dawn arises with a child that is well.
The powerful force of a mother's love is evident in the story of Jesus and his mother in John's Gospel. While I recognize that not every parent lives up to the ideal, most mothers and fathers are committed to their children. Raising a child requires nurturing. Beyond what a child is given by nature, the loving hand of a guiding parent influences what that child can become. The encounter between Jesus and Mary is a powerful statement about motherhood, and also about Jesus.
We are what we are, not only by nature, but by nurture. There is a lovely story about an old French village that had many visitors. One day some of them asked an old man sitting in the village square, “Have any great men been born in this village?”
The old man looked up and replied, “Nope, only babies.”
Great people are not just born, they are nurtured. When I look at Jesus' life, I have to believe that something in his relationship with his mother, Mary, contributed to his ministry. The encounter between Jesus and Mary at the wedding described in John's Gospel provides us with a great revelation. It was both a meaningful interaction between Mary and Jesus, and the first of many signs of who Jesus really was.
In the Jewish tradition, a marriage covered many days and the host usually served wine to all the guests. They didn't get drunk - that would have been shameful! Serving good wine was a sign of hospitality, friendship and the joy of the occasion.
We read in John that the wine ran out, and Mary felt obliged to the family. The wedding was of someone well-known, not only to Jesus and Mary, but also to the disciples who were present. Mary asked Jesus what he could do about it. In most English translations, this encounter sounds very rough, and almost coarse. However, a true translation of the text reveals that Jesus was not dismissive of Mary. Rather, he said, “Look, leave it to me,” and called her a “dear woman.” Most biblical translations fail to capture the kindness Jesus expressed toward his mother. Jesus said, “My time is not yet come.” He was not yet ready to reveal himself completely. Then Mary told the stewards, “Do as Jesus says.”
In this encounter, we gather a great deal about Jesus. We learn about his upcoming ministry, and his relationship with Mary. The late David McLennan, who was a minister here in this congregation many years ago, once wrote in a commentary on John 2, “In the most insipid life of his people, Jesus brought (and I love his term) the active ferment of a new message and a new joy.” Get the language, “the active ferment!” By changing the water into wine, Jesus transformed the spiritual life of the people. The act of transforming the water was a symbol of all he was going to do in his future ministry.
What can we learn from Mary and her relationship with Jesus? How can society be stronger? How can we be better Christians, better parents? Clearly, this story shows a strong engagement between a mother and her son. Mary participated fully in Jesus' life, and Jesus, even as an adult, was fully engaged in the life of Mary. Mary relied on Jesus to turn the water into wine at the wedding. Jesus had relied on his mother throughout his life and came to this great moment of revelation: he was the Son of God. This interaction shows the degree of mutual dependency between Jesus and Mary.
I think that interdependence characterizes a truly strong relationship between a mother and child that evolves over time. I love some advice P.J. O'Rourke gave as to how children should take care of their dependents - their parents: “Parents should only be given a modest and a sensible allowance and they should be encouraged to save up for things. This builds character and also helps pay for the funeral.”
I am not that cynical! But when that interdependence between a parent and child is healthy and working well, it is a wonderful thing. Mothers often find that while their children depend on them early in life, they later become dependent on their children.
It is a tragedy when the sort of mutual support demonstrated by Mary and Jesus does not exist. Sometimes it breaks down due to unforeseen circumstances like ill health, or divorce. But the ideal mother-child relationship involves mutual support for the whole of life. In Mary's case, it took her to the very end of her son's life.
It was Mary's compassion that led to Jesus' revelation of his divinity. Mary responded to the needs of a family who were disgraced because their wine ran out. Jesus responded by giving the best wine last, and by turning the family's disgrace into something new and glorious.
Most parents love their children, but there is a tendency at times for that love to perhaps lose its purpose and goal. If there is a challenge today for modern mothers and fathers it is to ensure that they see their children not as projects, but as people. Very often in this busy, hi-tech world, children are given all these opportunities and goals to achieve that are very good and wholesome. But if you don't take time to communicate, listen, nurture and develop a bond of love, then the child is a project, not a person. At the end of life, a child can have achieved great and glorious things, but lack the personal relationships that really make life matter.
When I think of the life of my late mother, who I miss greatly, I realize that the things I remember about her are not all the places she took me, but the things she shared with me as a person. What I remember are not any of the achievements, but the love. That is the bond we see between Mary and Jesus.
Sometimes, we view children competitively rather than compassionately. We want to give our children a step forward in life, and give them advantages - and I hear this all the time - “To compete in the modern world.” There is nothing wrong with success, awards and achieving great things, but it is essential to develop character and compassion. Otherwise, you don't really develop a citizen.
This is why I believe the Christian gospel is so important. Many parents spend their time on projects: making them competitive to get ahead in life, but not nurturing their souls as citizens and people of God. The story of Jesus and Mary describes a relationship that led to something magnificent and beautiful because Mary was there nurturing Jesus and demonstrating compassion.
Communication is also essential, and it is something I see break down in a lot of relationships. I know communicating with parents, especially older parents, can sometimes be a little tedious. I used to get phone calls from my father saying, “Why haven't you called your mother recently?” That experience reminds me of a young man who called his mother to see how she was doing, then asked the worst question you can imagine: “How are you?”
She said, “I am weak, son.”
He asked, “Well, why are you weak?”
She replied, “Well, I haven't eaten for 32 days.”
The son asked, “Why haven't you eaten for 32 days?”
His mother answered, “Because I didn't want my mouth to be full when you phoned me.”
Real communication is not sitting by a phone and waiting. Real communication, even from a distance, is the sharing of one's life and one's love. It should come naturally and passionately. But there is something unique in the relationship between Mary and Jesus. Mary knew when she gave birth to Jesus this would be no ordinary relationship. From the very beginning, she was aware that she had given birth to the Son of the Living God.
The transformation of water into wine at the wedding at Cana was a sign, not only of Jesus' divinity, which is stressed in John's Gospel, but also his humanity. Mary's presence at her son's inaugural demonstration of his God-given power to transform is a statement about the divinity and the humanity of Jesus. It is a story about the truth of this man. The beauty of John's Gospel, often mired and forgotten about in the last few years because it is so different from the others, contains so much richness, history and truth in its story of Jesus Christ, the Divine One, who is also the human One; the Lord of Life, the Truth.
In the relationship between Mary and Jesus, if you elevate the Christology of Jesus, then you elevate the person of Mary. Mary becomes so important because of who she was nurturing. That was why, at the end of Jesus' life, Mary was there. At the first sign of his divinity - Mary was there.
Nobody captured this more beautifully than John Killinger, in the form of an inspirational prayer to mothers everywhere, and to all Christians:
I believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God,
who was born of the promise to a virgin named Mary.
I believe in the love Mary gave her Son
that caused her to follow him in his ministry
and stand by his cross as he died.
I believe in the love of all mothers,
and its importance in the lives of the children they bear.
It is stronger than steel, softer than down,
and more resilient than a green sapling on a hillside.
It closes wounds, melts disappointments,
and enables the weakest child to stand tall
and straight in the fields of adversity.
I believe that this love, even at its best,
is only a shadow of the love of God,
a dark reflection of all that we can expect of Him,
both in this life and the next.
And I believe that one of the most beautiful sights
in the world is a mother who lets this greater love
flow through her to her child,
blessing the world with the tenderness of her touch
and the tears of her joy.
Mothers know best! Amen.
This is a verbatim transcription of the original sermon.